Cracks in Concrete - November 14th

 “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”

George Carlin

Thoughts: There are lots of tufts of grass and flowers growing in cracks in the concrete. They are the stories of kindness, empathy, caring and sharing that are everywhere around us if we stop focusing on the anger, hate and violence that is attempting to pave over our world.

We can widen the cracks by practicing everyday kindness. We don't need to understand what is happening in the world to make a decision to stand for our values then stretch ourselves in that direction like a tiny plant stretching towards the sunlight. Imagine a tiny clump of seedling growing slowly into a forest.

The Day After

 "Whatever anyone does or says, for my part I'm bound to the good... In the same way
an emerald or gold or purple might always proclaim: 'whatever anyone does or says, I must be what I am and show my true colours" 

Marcus Aurelius

"Our job today and tomorrow is the same as it’s always been—to be good, to be wise, to stand up for what’s right, to resist what is wrong and evil. Nothing changes that. Nothing exempts us from that. Nothing prevents us from doing that."

Ryan Holiday

Both the above quotes are from the Daily Stoic.

Thoughts: Our job is to be our best selves. To be aware where and when we get caught in drama and emotion and choose to shrug it off and remain true to what we know in our hearts. 

Kindness, respect, and empathy are infinitely more powerful than blame, hate and violence.

And if we can't find the truth in the present time, read history. Over time patterns repeat, over time even the whitewash of perspective tarnishes.

Cheers

Jeanne

Future - October 10th

 “The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

Howard Zinn, You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times

Good things and remember

 “There are four good things worth practicing. Being kind toward everything alive. Staying level and steady. Feeling happy for any creature anywhere that is happy. And remembering that any suffering is also yours.”

Richard Powers, Bewilderment

Barbra

 

"I just don't want to be hampered by my own limitations."

Barbra Streisand

Thoughts: What would we do if we believe we have no limitations??

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
Albert Einstein

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."
Henry David Thoreau

fear less - August 15th

 "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."

Marie Curie

Strength - August 1st

  "As soon as people decide to confront a problem, they realize that they are far more capable than they thought they were" 

Paulo Coelho

Thoughts:  

Kamala Harris

To inspire a generation to believe that it is possible to achieve anything with hard work, determination, and integrity is a legacy that will have more impact than asserting strength through wars, economic goals and domination.

No matter what challenges, bullying and nastiness she will face in this race for US President and democracy I will hope that she continues to believe and trust in herself and stay strong!

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only defense."

Bob Marley

Good Ideas - August 8th

 "Your time is better spent championing good ideas than tearing down bad ones ..."

James Clear

Thoughts: This means sometimes we need to look hard for something good to champion, but there is always something ... the good only seems obscure because the bad gets so much press.

"... Don’t waste time explaining why bad ideas are bad. You are simply fanning the flame of ignorance and stupidity. The best thing that can happen to a bad idea is that it is forgotten. The best thing that can happen to a good idea is that it is shared. It makes me think of Tyler Cowen’s quote,
“Spend as little time as possible talking about how other people are wrong.”
Feed the good ideas and let bad ideas die of starvation."

Quoted from: https://jamesclear.com/why-facts-dont-change-minds

Rights - July 25th

 "Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do."

Potter Stewart

Thoughts: We need more of this kind of thinking in this world today!

Align hope

 “But human beings are not machines, and however powerful the pressure to conform, they sometimes are so moved by what they see as injustice that they dare to declare their independence. In that historical possibility lies hope.”

Howard Zinn, You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times

Words of hope from Howard Zinn

 

Practicing

 

Project

 "All of us are working on the same project. Some consciously,with understanding; some without knowing it. Some of us work in one way, and some in others. And those who complain and try to obstruct and thwart things... the world needs them too." 

Marcus Aurelius

"The world needs these types for many reasons... a diversity of opinion is, in the aggregate, better than homogeneity. 

Also, the obnoxious and the shameless and the evil do more for us than we think. They remind us what virtue is and give us something to struggle against. They prevent us from getting complacent and illustrate the terrible costs of being like them.

We can fight against them and denounce what they represent, but it's a fantasy to think they can be made to disappear. They serve a purpose and make us stronger through their adversity."

Ryan Holiday; the Daily Stoic Meditations 2022

Two giraffes were walking down the road

 One giraffe said to the other giraffe "... "

Do!

 “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion"

Paulo Coelho

Thoughts: It's never too late to stop talking and do ...  and interesting how opinions can grow

Unreasonable reason

 “When you ask, “Why do we do it this way?” and the only answer is “Because that’s how it’s always been done,” that rule deserves another look.”

Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect

Thoughts: this is an 'I want to read book'. I've not got it yet but I will!

Competition to strive for

 "The healthiest competition occurs when average people win by putting above average effort."

Colin Powell

"A successful competition for me is always going out there and putting 100 percent into whatever I'm doing. It's not always winning. People, I think, mistake that it's just winning. Sometimes it could be, but for me, it's hitting the best sets I can, gaining confidence, and having a good time and having fun."
Simone Biles

(Simone Arianne Biles Owens is an American artistic gymnast. With a total of 37 Olympic and World Championship medals, she is the most decorated gymnast in history, and she is widely considered one of the greatest gymnasts of all time. Wikipedia.)

Thoughts: If life is a competition and there always have to be winners and losers how do we take control of our happiness? (Assuming that being defined as a 'loser' is bad and no one wants to be this.)

The way I see it the only sustainable way to be content in our skin is to win our own self respect.

And I'm really not sure if there are ways of winning self respect other than putting above average effort and 100 percent into whatever we are choosing to do; whether anyone see it or not, whether it gets us more money or friends or awards or victories or wins any competition outside of making us become a better version of ourselves. If we do this, I expect, our choices will become more reflective of what we value and we will have purpose.

I think we are all happier with purpose.

Integrity - what don't we need

 "If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own."

Epictetus  

We can look to nature for examples of integrity

Heaven

 

Nothing goes far

 "To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say."

Will Durant



Thoughts: We waste a lot of words and energy talking about what politicians, religions, other groups and individuals, and even people in our circles do wrong.

Would it not be more productive to think/talk about what people are doing right and start there?

Would it not be more honest to forget comparing and just try to always do our best as we understand it?

Would it not make our lives more useful if we accepted that it is not helpful to speak ill of others?

Speaking ill of others, regardless of how acceptable it is or how much we feel someone deserves it serves no purpose other than for us to sound and feel superior, widen the gaps of understanding and obscure our chances of listening or understanding.

While I may not agree with all the opinions in Will Durant's book "Fallen Leaves - Last words on; Life, Love, War, and God" I appreciate the entertaining discussions of alternate views and thoughts he shares while coming to his conclusions and I understand why he arrives at them. 

Cheers
Jeanne

Happy

 "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."

Denis Waitley

"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself."
Tecumseh

"Often people ask how I manage to be happy despite having no arms and no legs. The quick answer is that I have a choice. I can be angry about not having limbs, or I can be thankful that I have a purpose. I chose gratitude."
Nick Vujicic

Thoughts: As I think about gratitude and appreciate the gifts surrounding me all the time whether I am conscious of them or not, I wonder why I ever let myself think of "wanting more", and then when I really think about that  I am grateful as much for the things I can't do as they give me opportunities I wouldn't have dreamed of if I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted it.

What's love got to do with anything??

 "A man is only as good as what he loves."

Saul Bellow

My thoughts: 

It seems like we don't spend much time determining what we love and putting that first. 

I listen, read and wonder at the hatred that seems to be a force field feeding itself with anger like oxygen to a fire, consuming kindness, empathy and compassion and fanning fear, blame and hate into a flame that threatens to take the decency and love out of our society and combust our world into an Armageddon of war and global environmental catastrophe until there is nothing left but ashes.

My ask after this little rant is that we step back for a bit to think about what we really love. 

Take a day off from making blanket statements to express our dissatisfaction with something or someone. 

Take a day off from feeding the fire of hatred to think about what love and kindness mean. 

Think about what being grateful for our family, or a friend, or a smile, or a sunny day, or being alive really means; they don't cost anything, but make our lives brighter. 

Before we think, act and vote with blame and hate let's take the time to think about the consequences with a broader and kinder framework.

Cheers

Jeanne

Smile

 "It was only a sunny smile,

and little it cost in the giving,

But like morning light 

It scattered the night

and made the day worth living."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Cheers

Jeanne

Language

 “I remember the words of Bill Tall Bull, a Cheyenne elder. As a young person, I spoke to him with a heavy heart, lamenting that I had no native language with which to speak to the plants and the places that I love. “They love to hear the old language,” he said, “it’s true.” “But,” he said, with fingers on his lips, “You don’t have to speak it here.” “If you speak it here,” he said, patting his chest, “They will hear you.”

Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants

Thoughts: 

There is a language our hearts know

that is heard in a world we can only know when we let go of what we think we know

Letting go - April 18th

“Success does not lie in sticking to things. It lies in picking the right thing to stick to and quitting the rest.”

Annie Duke, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

Thoughts:

The decision is the difficult part. It seems that the more I focus on what I am giving up the more I want to keep it. If I have to make a decision about giving up something I love, or think is something I should do, or something that will take me in the direction of my dreams, because to keep going is no longer is wise, it feels like I'm giving up on a part of me and that not having or doing whatever it was will leave an empty, unfillable space inside. But the more decisions I make to moderate or eliminate things that I'm clinging to because of the fear of what letting go will mean to my life the more focus I can give to where I'm going and how to be who I want to be.

“In large part, we are what we do, and our identity is closely connected with whatever we’re focused on, including our careers, relationships, projects, and hobbies. When we quit any of those things, we have to deal with the prospect of quitting part of our identity. And that is painful.”

Annie Duke, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away 

The Creative Act - April 4th & 11th 2024

 

April 4th quote

"Discipline and freedom seem like opposites. In reality they are partners. 

Discipline is not a lack of freedom, it is a harmonious relationship with time."

From: The Creative Act by Rick Rubin 

April 11th quote

"Listening opens possibilities. It allows you to see a bigger world. Many of our beliefs were learned before we had a choice in what we were taught. Some of them might go back generations and may no longer apply. Some many never have applied.

Listening, then, is not just awareness. It is freedom from accepted limitations."

Rick Rubin from The Creative Act: A Way of Being

Shy

 

Warrior March 14th

  "A warrior is not a person that carries a gun. The biggest war you ever go through is right between your own ears. It's in your mind. We're all going through a war in our mind, and we have to callous our mind to fight that war and to win that war."

David Goggins
Author of: "Can't Hurt Me" and "Never Finished"

Puff

 

Astronaut View - March 21st

 “My optimism and confidence come not from feeling I'm luckier than other mortals, and they sure don't come from visualizing victory. They're the result of a lifetime spent visualizing defeat and figuring out how to prevent it.

Like most astronauts, I'm pretty sure that I can deal with what life throws at me because I've thought about what to do if things go wrong, as well as right. That's the power of negative thinking.”
Chris Hadfield, An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth

Feeling Love

 

Complexity March 28th

 "Sometimes, I am also identified as a civil rights leader or a human rights activist. I would also like to be thought of as a complex, three-dimensional, flesh-and-blood human being with a rich storehouse of experiences, much like everyone else, yet unique in my own way, much like everyone else."

Coretta Scott King

Thoughts:
We are all complex and unique in our own ways, and every one of us would like to be seen that way and respected for it.

... and if we can't understand someone else and what they do and say, we could try to remember that they, as we, are a product of experience

And if we listen, we may learn something that will help us understand

... and if we don't listen, we will maintain our ignorance

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
Bryant H. McGill

"The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions."
Paul Watzlawick

Modify, modify, modify - February 15th

 "The only thing that permits human beings to collaborate with one another in a truly open-ended way is their willingness to have their beliefs modified by new facts. Only openness to evidence and argument will secure a common world for us."

Sam Harris

Shark attacks - Feb 22nd

 “If you see lots of shark attacks in the news, you think, 'Gosh, sharks are out of control.' What you should think is 'Gosh, the news loves to cover shark attacks.”

David McRaney, You Are Not So Smart

“The more pessimistic your explanatory style, the easier it is to slip into learned helplessness.”
David McRaney, You Are Not So Smart

Extraordinary Generosity- February 29th

 “The forest itself is part of much larger cycles, the building of soil and migration of species and circulation of oceans. The source of clean air and pure water and good food. There is a necessary wisdom in the give-and-take of nature—its quiet agreements and search for balance. There is an extraordinary generosity.”

Suzanne Simard, Finding the Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest

Thoughts: How beautiful is Extraordinary Generosity

Self Esteem - March 7th

 "There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity"

Nathaniel Branden

Thoughts: to cultivate self-esteem is an act of generosity to ourselves and others. When we accept that we are deserving of our own respect and kindness we can give and receive with acceptance and grace.

Grace recognizes that it is an act of generosity to receive with gratitude as much as it is to give without expecting gratitude. A state where cultivating self-esteem is what allows us to be selfless in the most natural way. 

"Self-esteem is a powerful force within each of us... Self-esteem is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life."
Nathaniel Branden

Note: this musing was inspired by my friend Davee. An inspiring, generous and kind soul whom I respect! Thank you Davee for the gift of this time at Sun Peaks. 

January 4th 2024 - Including Booklist

"A person is a point of view. Every person you meet is a creative artist who takes the events of life and, over time, creates a very personal way of seeing the world."

David Brooks from his book: How to Know a Person

Thoughts: How could this not be so?? We can only interpret what we see from our own experience, what we are taught, what we put our attention on, what we observe and what we read. I think one of the biggest impacts to expanding our point of view comes from reading; reading anything that is beyond our experience and exposes us to other peoples experiences and perspectives.

Reading always seemed to me to be a leisure activity. In 2024 I am going to rewrite this 66 year old perspective and make reading a priority activity!

"People don't see the world with their eyes; they see it with their entire life."

"Each person actively constructs their own perception of reality."

David Brooks

I found this booklist of "Books everyone should read at least once" (from Katie Couric Wake-Up Call newsletter)

I've read about a quarter of the books on it already and agree with them being on this list so I'm adding the entire list to the bookclub books and random recommended reads from friends and other sources.

I do plan to do other things occasionally, but I am looking forward to changing my perspective

1. Heartwood: The art of living with the End in Mind by Barbara Becker

2. The Beauty of Dusk: On Vision Lost and Found by Frank Bruni

3. All the Light we Cannot See by Anthony Doerr 

4. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou 

5. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

6. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee

7. Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres

8. After This: When Life is Over, Where do we Go? By Claire Bidwell Smith

9. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom

10. We Should Not be Friends: The Story of a Friendship by Will Schwalbe

11. The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, with Douglas Abrams

12. Still Life by Sarah Winman 

13. Walden by Henry David Thoreau (Tried to read once but didn't get too far...)

14. Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

15. Georgia: A Novel of Georgia O'Keeffe by Dawn Tripp 

16. Waking up White: Finding Myself in the Story of Race by Debby Irving

17. The Mother of All Dilemmas: Dreams of Motherhood and the Internship that Changed Everything by Kathleen Guthrie Woods

18. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (Read this, now reading Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe to find out more about how the opioid crisis came about)

19. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

20. Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction by David Sheff

21. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle (listened to this book on cd Walkman while pruning orchards about 20 years ago, over and over again. Maybe I will plan a long drive just to listen to it again) 

22. Option B: Facing Adversity: Building Resilience and Finding Joy, by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

23. Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus 

24. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

25. The Lincoln Highway By Amor Towles

26. Big Lies in a Small Town by Diane Chamberlain

27. The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

28. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

29. Finding Me by Viola Davis

30. The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

31. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

32. The Push by Ashley Audrain

33. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

34. First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety by Sarah Wilson

35. The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace: A Brilliant Young Man Who Left Newark for the Ivey League by Jeff Hobbs

36.Women Talking by Miriam Toews

37. Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

Peace, Health and New Worlds to all

Jeanne

Reacting - Jan 18th 2024

 "Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future."

Deepak Chopra 

Pooh wisdom - Jan 25th 2024

"If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear."

Winnie the Pooh 

Do what's hard - Feb 9th,2024

 

“The most practical skill in life is learning to do things when you don’t feel like doing them. Anyone can do it when it’s easy, but most people drop out the minute it gets hard. The key to life – Do what is hard, not what is easy; with passion, too, not begrudgingly.”

Shane Parrish

Resilience

 "Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it."

Michael J. Fox

"A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway."
Christopher Reeve

Thoughts: Resilience doesn't start with knowing where its going, it just starts, one small action begins the journey.

Creativity - Jan 11 2024

 "Creativity doesn't wait for that perfect moment. It fashions its own perfect moments out of ordinary ones."

Bruce Garrabrandt (a self taught artist who began with no talent for drawing-  his words)

Thoughts: 

Yay!! The big picture is not so important when we start a project. One little line may seem ordinary by itself, but compounded little lines can become Big Pictures:-)

And if we can accept there is no judgement over what is 'perfect', anything we put effort into can be rewarding, even if we never finish it (thinking of the many projects I have left in various stages)

I watch my grandson building blocks and it always starts with one. And it is always 'perfect' until the crash. And then he laughs and starts over... a lesson for living.

"Creativity is seeing what others see and thinking what no one else ever thought."
Albert Einstein

"Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity."
Charles Mingus ( an American jazz upright bassist, composer, bandleader, pianist, and author. A major proponent of collective improvisation, he is considered to be one of the greatest jazz musicians)

Just start - December 8th 2022

 "You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly."

Colin Wright

Thoughts today: 

the closer I get to 65 the more frequently I think about the temporality of me in this life. Lying awake last night I had a fleeting visit from an older me, wondering why I was wasting so much time. Minutes will never come back, each breath is the only one, the next will be another one. Looking for something to distract my thoughts I scrolled through Youtube lists of sleepy time music, Tibetan bells, meditations, until, randomly, a Ted Talk by Mel Robbins: "How to stop screwing yourself" drew me in.

Chief message takeaway:

"Start before you’re ready. Don’t prepare, begin!"

Mel Robbins

Cheers

Jeanne

Fleas - December 15th 2022

 "Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty." Professor Brian Greene, Physicist

“Sometimes attaining the deepest familiarity with a question is our best substitute for actually having the answer.”
Brian Greene, The Elegant Universe

“The overarching lesson that has emerged from scientific inquiry over the last century is that human experience is often a misleading guide to the true nature of reality.”
Brian Greene, The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality

The storm today must have addled my brains. Is it Thursday?

Beyond the ice covered trees and the wind and the rain is a universe full of questions. Is there anything else that matters in time? Tonight it is easy to believe that our petty squabbles and greed are as puny as a flea bite on an elephant.

Cheers

Jeanne