Thursday, February 18, 2021

Stories

 

“Facts, opinions, and value statements push people apart, stories bring people together.” 
Chuck Matthei
Remembering Chuck | Equity Trust

Imagine if we heard the stories and the stories behind the stories before we formed an opinion. We know that nothing and no one exists in isolation. There are layers and layers of stories behind every action and every consequence.

Language and stories are how we communicate.  And yet, having been granted this incredible gift, it is a tragedy that individually and collectively we forget how to listen.

With all the incredible brain power we have to create such things as Artificial Intelligence for example, we have not come so far from the prehistoric creatures we evolved from that we can break free of the bonds of our 'tribal' collectives of country, religion, ideology, culture and values that we make into our worldview lens on which we base our "knowledge".

The less we know, the more we can learn
The less we talk the more we can hear,
The less we judge, the more we can understand

The more we question our beliefs the bigger our world gets and the more possibility we have to grow our stories beyond the limits and constraints we are existing within.

Stories are the path that we can take to make decisions based on compassion and empathy rather than dogma and distancing.

Today's rant was inspired by this event in the news this week:

Kimberly Squirrel, a 34-year-old mother of six could have been alive today if her family had been told she was being released from prison in January, according to her sister, Kara Squirrel.

Instead, Kimberly's frozen body was found in a residential area of Saskatoon the night of Jan. 23, just three days after she'd been released from the Pine Grove Correctional Centre, near Prince Albert, about 160 kilometres northeast of the city.

"Imagine"
(from "Imagine: John Lennon" soundtrack)

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today... Aha-ah...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one


Jeanne




(The following was the draft before modifying to the above message)

“Facts, opinions, and value statements push people apart, stories bring people together.” 


It is interesting what we think we know. In my opinion it would be very hard to live without filtering everything we hear through our opinion, however, that would be one way we could hear news and facts out of context and not judge them. 

The other way would be to ask for the stories and then more stories and know that nothing and no one exists in isolation. There are layers and layers of stories behind every action and every consequence and there is not one of us humans living now or who ever lived who has not contributed to these layers.

Language and stories are how we communicate.  And yet, having been granted this incredible gift, it is a tragedy that individually and collectively we forget how to listen.

With all the incredible brain power we have to create such things as Artificial Intelligence for example, we have not come so far from the prehistoric creatures we evolved from that we can break free of the bonds of our 'tribal' collectives of country, religion, ideology, culture and values that we make into our worldview lens on which we base our "knowledge".

The less we know, the more we can learn
The less we talk the more we can hear,
The less we judge, the more we can understand

The more we question our beliefs the bigger our world gets and the more possibility we have to grow our stories beyond the limits and constraints we are existing within and the less complicit and more responsibility we will take for the human and environmental atrocities that we are committing.

Stories are the path that we can make decisions based on compassion and empathy rather than dogma and distancing.

Today's rant was inspired by this event in the news this week (the ripples of stories that caused and are impacted by this are infinite):

Kimberly Squirrel, a 34-year-old mother of six could have been alive today if her family had been told she was being released from prison in January, according to her sister, Kara Squirrel.

Instead, Kimberly's frozen body was found in a residential area of Saskatoon the night of Jan. 23, just three days after she'd been released from the Pine Grove Correctional Centre, near Prince Albert, about 160 kilometres northeast of the city.



Cheers
Jeanne

Life is Improvisation

“life itself was an improvisation in which I was going to have to deal with what came to me and not think about what should have come.”
― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned

I have admired Alan Alda forever! To treat myself in the middle of this long, bleak January in lockdown I've just purchased his book (audio format and narrated by him) "If I Understood You Would I Have This Look on My Face? My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating" This title makes me laugh out loud and is the quote I was going to use as I feel a lot of us have this "look" on our face now with the divisiveness in our society. From my perspective how society and communities work basically depend on communication. To come to any sort of peaceful coexistence going forward I think our communication skills need to move past the "should bes" and blame and into curiousity and discovery; with a genuine intention to learn as we listen to the stories that underlie our conflicting beliefs. 

People believe what they believe for a reason; maybe they've always been the underdog, or they are the power hungry leader, the competitive athlete, the wealthy elite, the educated or the uneducated, the oppressed and abused, or the bully and narcissist or ...etc. Through communication and listening as individuals maybe we can change the only thing we have power to change, our own beliefs. Basically it is not "them" that needs to change, it is "me", and each "me" that changes makes "them" a little less of a "them" and more of an "us". We are all part of the us, and if we eliminate "them" from our vocabulary that would be a really good start.

I think sometimes we don't realize that by making ourselves right in a conversation the result is the other person feels shut down, made wrong and becomes resentful. A conversation has to be respectful, we have had such a powerful example in politics of the shut down/I'm right you're wrong/you caused this mess kind of speaking that it has become normalized somehow and we are losing sight of the fact that we are all human and have our own stories that shape our views and the voices we silence are the ones that we need to listen to in order to move on.

Bonus Quotes from Alan Alda:
 
“The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I discovered, is enormous. One is fluid, the other is rigid. One is alive, the other is stuffed. Eventually, I found a radical way of thinking about listening. Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I’m willing to let them change me, something happens between us that’s more interesting than a pair of dueling monologues.”
― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned

“If you know what you're looking for, that's all you'll get - what's previously known. But when you're open to what's possible, you get something new - that's creativity.”
― Alan Alda

The most striking thing about the scientists I met was their complete dedication to evidence. It reminded me of the wonderfully plainspoken words of Richard Feynman who felt it was better not to know than to know something that was wrong.”
― Alan Alda