My friend Robert gave me a calendar for Christmas. More than a calendar really, it is "the Ultimate Family Organizer" with huge lined squares for each day and hundreds of stickers to use for birthdays etc. It was lovely of him of course, although I always wondered why he thought it was a good gift for me; I'm generally pretty organized, my kids look after their own schedules now (at 17 and 20 they don't let me sign them up for soccer or piano lessons anymore) and I've never missed a dinner or a party with this group of friends ... But it is quite possible Robert sees things in a different way. (Perhaps it was simply a thoughtful gift for a woman entering her fiftieth year offering her the convenience of one place where she wouldn't need to find her reading glasses.)
Whatever the motivation I find myself attached to this calendar. Well, I wasn't at first, at first I didn't know what to do with it. It was too big to put on the wall in the usual calendar spot, and took up a lot of room on the desk so I just shifted it from pile to shelf and forgot about it until a couple days into February. Dreary old February when the snow settled in for a long visit and the cold crept through the windows and doors. It was February when I decided enough was enough and it was time I took control of my habits. Inspired by an article I'd read about a woman who challenged herself for one year to give up one thing for each month (after each month she would be able to have that thing back and choose something else to give up the next). One month it was chocolate, another it was shopping, another it was elevators ... The point being to take a conscious look at some of her habits and assess their meaning in her life.
As I had quit smoking for the last time in January and was therefore riding a confident wave I decided to use the monthly plan to address some habits I'd rather not take with me into my 'mature' years. And to add some habits that I had wanted for a long time. According to another article it takes 21 days to break a habit, or make a habit and here I was going to make the opportunity to give it a try. The deal I made with myself was to give up one thing and add one thing per month, with the option of changing back the next month as long as I made it a conscious choice.
I got pretty excited about this, listing some of the habits took up two pages of my journal and the more I looked the more appeared. Deciding I needed to have a record and a visible progress marker I leaned back and gazed randomly around my office and what do you think? Robert's calendar almost leapt off the shelf at me. Then a pot full of coloured highlighters I hadn't touched for years except to dust around (very occasionally) slid into view and - Bob's your Uncle!
Its a pretty cool thing, the satisfaction of colouring in squares one day at a time. I decided to colour smoking for the whole year so I could have three colours (and in case I ever forgot #$%&@#). I made a X in pink highlighter in every square beginning January 14th. For February I decided to add yoga every day and eliminate playing those damn computer solitaire games. Yoga got a blue X and computer games got a green X. Halfway through February I was feeling great from the yoga and extremely virtuous about work because in the hour that I spent in the office each day I'd done the T4's, finished the year end reports for 2006, done a budget for 2007, sorted the filing drawers, and read the past years worth of farming magazines. And equally, or perhaps even more delicious than all this was the colour pattern appearing on Robert's calendar which I'd posted on the wall beside the computer.
Soon February was over; a work of art, and I felt I was on to a new and wonderful way to make meaningful my every action. March's blank squares challenged me to come up with green and blue habits (smoking kept the pink, a circle this month). I chose to add writing down one new project idea each day (there's been projects circling my mind for years I've never done anything about) without any need for making them realistic, or understandable to anybody but me, or adding details. I chose to eliminate keeping my email on all day and reading emails as they came in, rather I would check it only twice a day; when I turned the computer on in the morning and before dinner.
The idea writing turned out great. The first few days after I exhausted the projects in the top of my head were a struggle, then ideas began pouring out, naturally clarifying themselves and becoming doable projects. Although, or perhaps because, I knew I was not committing myself to actually doing anything details and plans began forming and I wrote everything down. It was fascinating and fun to do this. Not quite so fun was the email habit, in fact I failed miserably and gave up completely after three days.
It is now one week into April and those lovely pink smoke rings are continuing their march across the squares. The end of March I slipped into an old funk and lost some power, but it is back again now. That's another cool thing - I get to make up the rules as I go. April feels like a tough month, particularly Easter because it reminds me of my mom. My habit I am adding this month is a new written prayer each day. And I want to try again to break my addiction to email during the day. I think I'll be able to do it this month because the weather is likely to allow me more time outside.
And as a follow up to February's habits: I am doing yoga four times a week, this feels reasonable. Computer solitaire I play now and then. I think I 'should' give it up for good - like the smoking, and now I know I can, but what the heck, I got so much work done in February there's not enough office work to keep me busy an hour a day now. And some of March's ideas are sprouting leaves and taking shape, still without committment, yet some of the projects are entering the possibility range.
As gifts go Robert - this calendar was a pretty good one, thanks!!
emation. My dad jokes that there is standing room only left, at least in our plot. And it is where I go to talk to my mom sometimes. (Although I talk to her lots of other times too, this is just a more formal thing where I take in my coffee and some flowers or an angel or something and sit by her grave and think about her)
