cows

When nothing is true anything is possible ...

My daughter is desperately unhappy ... how do I know? I don't - I am unhappy about what I see happening with her - that is true. Or is it? Perhaps I, who professes to not 'buy in' to the status quo for myself, am hypocritical enough to 'buy in' to it for my kids (hedge my bets with them) and that is what I am unhappy about - that she's not fitting the mold, that my friends kids are graduating and making 'responsible' choices about further education so they can get better jobs and become financially independant. Have I bought into that as her role? and therefore my role would be to keep her on that path. And in this I have 'failed', and that is what is making me unhappy?
I wonder why I hesitate to let her drop out of school? To let her choose her own path? Do I know better?
What do I know anyways? I know I just took her to lunch at Wendy's and she had chicken nuggets and fries and coke and I think those are unhealthy choices on many levels, but my taking her and paying for thhis lunch is giving her (and the universe) the opposite message. I also know I ate too - a taco salad, which I thought would be close to real food, but I've been listening to The Omnivore's Dilemna and realized with each bite that what I was eating was supporting the industrialized farming I believe is one of the most harmful 'buy ins' we've ever been a party to. Shit, if those who hate us only have a little patience we'll anihilate ourselves with the poisons we are consuming and demanding (literally and figuratively)
And I do feel sick now. That poor cow that was part of the chili is not digesting well with me. And I committed the sin of wasting, so his life wasn't even worth appreciating.