Thank you (December 23rd 2021)

 "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."

Lao Tzu

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

“Love can often be misguided and do as much harm as good, but respect can do only good. It assumes that the other person's stature is as large as one's own, his rights as reasonable, his needs as important.”

Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

My thoughts;

Thank you for staying connected and reading these messages. My life has been blessed by meeting and knowing many different people from different places who have enriched my life in many ways, not the least of which is your willingness to stay connected as the weeks, months and years pass.

For as many Thursday mornings as I can remember I have indulged myself in looking for quotes, reading at least dozens each time and exploring authors, concepts and thoughts to come up with what I choose to share with you each week. This is a pleasurable challenge that has many side benefits for me. One I hadn't recognized until now is the clarity I am getting of my own sense of purpose through reflecting on the values represented in quotes, and that this weekly activity is strengthening what I know about myself and who I want to be.  It has been a process for me to trust that what I think is worth sharing (though sometimes it may not be, but I trust my intentions)

I'm realizing that having the courage to live up to my beliefs gives my life more meaning. The courage to speak when my gut feeling tells me it is okay or important to express my thoughts out loud, while accepting that they will not always be understood or agreed with. At times I take a big gulp before hitting Send for these Thursday messages because I understand they may be a stretch or a challenge for some, and that I may be sacrificing my desire to be liked and accepted by all. Often before I send them I go outside and look at the trees for a few minutes to breathe and regain perspective. And since the trees are still there, acting as trees, I get that I can be me.

I think about what I read, examine what I believe and evaluate my values. This helps me become the me that is like a tree; the me that acts like me because I know intrinsically all this important stuff about what makes me feel alive. I go through scenarios where I am the hero who faces my fear and leaps because to do anything less corrodes my belief in myself. I wonder what I'd do if I were to witness injustice being done such as those we hear and see in the media; what I'd do if I were on the street at the time George Floyd was being restrained, on a bus when some scared kid was being attacked, in an underground parking lot where a woman was being raped, at a park where someone was mistreating an animal... I am grateful that I have not been in any of these situations, but this leaves me wondering whether my values or my fears would determine my response. 

Yet my values are being tested everyday against more insidious abuses, the ones that others laugh at you for if you make a big deal of them, the nearly acceptable norms or the on the edge behaviour that we let go because it was a friend or because making waves might make it worse, or the ones that we are embarrassed to speak out loud or admit we've been less than honest about. The bullying that can happen anywhere by anyone, including people who I care for and respect. I even have to face that, it could be me being the bully. Abuse and meanness can be overt or covert and unless I choose to be vigilant and aware, to challenge that behaviour by anyone, anytime and anywhere, I am devaluing my values. Fear, laziness, ignorance, greed, etc., can act like a virus attacking my value system, each time I acquiesce to any of these they gain strength and my self esteem weakens.

If I do not have the conviction of my values and do not have the courage to face my fears I cannot do the kindness I want, I cannot do what my heart knows is right, I am not living with integrity and I will be defined more by what I don't do rather than what I do. My character is nothing if I do not stand up for what I believe.

"Know what's important and what isn't. Have the wisdom to know the right thing to do, the integrity to do it, the character to stand up to those who don't, and the courage to stop those who won't."
Mark Goulston

I wish you all a healthy, safe, warm, courageous Merry Christmas and I hope we can all share the miracle of kindness with ourselves, our families and friends, our communities, strangers, trees, the Earth, those we fear, and those we disagree with.

Thank you and warmest regards to you all

xo

Jeanne